… is a metaphor for the last several days: ennui and productivity - despite recent postings about hitting my stride and finding a rhythm. That was short lived. Another myth busted. I thought by now I’d have a lovely rhythm – a bit of a balanced routine … that the feeling of grounded-ness and engagement would sustain. Maybe at some point. But now, no. Now I see that it is more like fits and starts. Today I got up on a roof to do some patching, varnished a door, hauled some stuff, picked up a loaner bike from a friend, did some housework - all long on the list - and all by 2pm. This in contrast to two previous days of … ennui … a “is this it?” feeling and general lethargy (dare I use the “B” word?). And getting into the Halloween candy.
So I’m seeing that, just like when I was working, some days are as much about perseverance as anything. Hanging with that feeling of discontent till something shifts (energy level, attitude, external circumstances).
Leonard is talking to me as I write:
Ring the bells that still can ring.
Forget your perfect offering.
There is a crack in everything…that’s how the light gets in.
Thank you. I needed that reminder.